We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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