Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
