either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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