Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Watching her eat just hurts me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
