The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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