people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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