we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
