it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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