Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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