If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude i'm inner monologue high
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
