Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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