At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
