I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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