Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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