i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
