i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
