He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
