That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
