it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
