So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
