While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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