on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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