i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
