Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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