well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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