Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
