He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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