normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
