you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
