i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
