We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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