haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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