Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
