Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
