no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
