well you can't waste a boner
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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