There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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