just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
