I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
