I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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