so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
