Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im holly from the hills drunk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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