I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
