My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
