At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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