She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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