i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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