dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
