i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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