hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
