i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
