One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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